Sleeping with a Newborn
We've also been very lucky in this regard. Does this mean, karmatically, we are going to run out of luck and soon something bad is going to happen. Let's hope not. Clyde sleeps decently at night. She sleeps all day, save for about two hours, and at night, she wakes up about four times to breastfeed.
We're torn about her sleeping. We have a Moses basket next to our bed where she sleeps (thanks Liz and Jess!) but sometimes when she wakes up, she coos and fusses a bit, even if she isn't hungry or wet or soiled. When we put her in the bed with us, she loves it, and loves the human contact, the touch. So sometimes we fall asleep for an hour or two with her in the bed with us, and she LOVES IT. We are worried because of everything we've heard negatively about cosleeping, and we don't necessarily want to cosleep, but I guess we'll ask the pediatrician about it when we see her tomorrow. It's just hard to look at that little baby all awake and wide-eyed, and know that she wants to have human contact, and not just snuggle her. So we do. Any thoughts on that?
posted by lizwallace @ 5:40 PM
3 Comments:
Hey Liz and Ing,
Don't worry about the cosleeping thing yet. Leo slept either on our chest or in our arm the first 6weeks or so. He hated his back and being in his crib at first but transitioned fine at around 2 months. I don't think you can spoil them the first couple of months, they are just adjusting to their whole new environment.
The most important thing to keep in mind as Clyde's parents raising her, is that you are comfortable and feel okay with your decisions and actions. Do not let other people (even the Dr's) tell you what exactly to do or don't do. YUou can listen to their advice and then do what feels best and natural in your minds and hearts. You can make yourself crazy over analyzing what the books says not to do.
Take care and I am still so excited for you all. I hope to get a welcome to the world package to Clyde in the next week or so. I really want to see a pic., so can you send to my email antenucc@verizon.net.
Love and good sleeping nights to you,
Jess
Snuggle away! I've heard it a hundred times and I believe it's true: you can't spoil a newborn. The negative co-sleeping comments, I'm guessing, are centered around the longevity of co-sleeping. You just met Clyde... she wants to snuggle. Do it. They grow so fast and those early days are so crazy/wonderful/special. She's beautiful, by the way. Simply beautiful! :)
You wrote....When we put her in the bed with us, she loves it, and loves the human contact, the touch. So sometimes we fall asleep for an hour or two with her in the bed with us, and she LOVES IT.
FWIW since you asked ... The only person that can answer this question is Clyde and sounds she already has! Happily, you and Ingrid understand the answer - trust it. Happily as well, you and Ingrid know each other so well and can help each other understand whether you are fulfilling Clyde's needs and or being needy yourself. The trouble only comes when kids have to try to meet their mother's needs which should be met by her partner.
These first few months Clyde doesn't know that you and she are not the same person. As she learns that she is separate and you develop your own little language to communicate, she develops trust. She needs to trust that someone will always be counted on to come and see what she needs and help her deal with it. Learning how she communicates is key I think. Her feelings really matter and helping her deal with feelings is so critical.
I love the concept of Wonder Child - preserve that. She will have to develop a social self to get along in the world and it will be her lifelong struggle to let the Wonder Child be first. To have parents that are fascinated by getting to know her for the unique person that she is will make that struggle so much easier.
The thing to learn are the stages of child development physically and emotionally then you can understand as she goes through them in her own very unique way and in her own good time and help her safely and securely through them.
No one will know her better than you and Ingrid. I'm so happy that you are in this together. Love you so much !
Lynn ... who has been fascinated by who you are and worried about messing you up for 26 years. Forgive me for all the times I didn't understand what you were telling me.
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